she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
