I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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