why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize