Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
