Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
