remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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