Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
