You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Holy sore nipples Batman
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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