What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His nipple licking is glorious
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