So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
