That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize