hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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