He kissed a someone with a penis
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
