I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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