How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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