...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
