Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
