No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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