God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
