Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
