I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
