I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
