I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
