ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
