is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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