a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
