A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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