It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
