So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
