Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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