He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
