If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
