Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
