..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
