i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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