she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
