but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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