Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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