playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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