I cockslap morals
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
