But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
