Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
