The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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