Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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