I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
