Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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