planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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