"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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