The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
