If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The feeling are messing with the penis
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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