I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
