I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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