You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
