You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dick very happy bro
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