he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize