Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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