Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
