I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
