I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
