She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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