How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
PANTIES FOUND
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