Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize