If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
